She kept trying to tell him something, but he kept saying, "Shhhh, don't worry now darling, just rest."
"But honey," she whispered, "I need to make a confession before I die... I slept with your brother, your best friend, and your father."
"Don't worry about it, sweetie," replied Adam as he wiped the tears from Brittany's cheek, "I know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"
A yuppie opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely.
When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeeemer!!!", he whined.
"You yuppies are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!", retorted the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
"Oh my gaaawd...," replied the yuppie, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was,
"Where's my Rolex?!!!!!"
